Sunday, June 03, 2007
1:40 AM
Yesterday night thoughts went through my head.
I clicked on archives and read some entries.
Passed by the Coffee theory & certain others.
Never got to finish it,
Yet the conclusion was blurred.
Today I realised,
Through rose tinted eyes I saw you,
Those moments of truth found me.
Desires we lust,
Thoughts we identified,
Wrong cross-roads we walked.
Facets we wore,
Revealed through private time.
Now,
It goes back to the unspoken closure.
Misunderstood.
This one week I have been doing plenty of reflections. Probably more than other days of the semester. Probably the most too since last semester. Where do I even start?
The heart has been numb for a period of time. Certain fast heart beats come and go. Certain memories pause and refreshed. How does the heart currently feels? Tired. Absolutely tired. I used to say I have a harden and cold heart. I guess some times it is time to defroze it and let certain people come in.
Precautions I have always taken, we can never rule out the interruptions. Just like the logic of girls clubbing; they dress not to seduce, they dress to impress.
When was the last time I have taken a step back to look at the bigger picture? It was eyons ago. I guess I have just let myself be a diffusion. I have stop certain behaviours of mine. I have stop doing those little things I use to do. Observing, listening, analysing, thinking, bothering. Now I simply became a diffusion. I let it fly through me only occasionally opening my little behaviours and use them for a Good purpose only.
A process with such familarity. Of course I do miss it. Yet I like my silence now.
I realised how much I enjoy my own space. In the sense, do my own shit. Control my own actions. Be in control of my actions, Like a Lone Wolf. I take care of my own shit, my own surroundings. I never did allowed someone into my life, not Love persay (This was never the issue), it was everything.
Poetries that I occasionally write. Inspirations I always experience. Nature that constantly swept me away. Eyes that always drifted left and right and back.
Time has halted.
Tired maybe I have become. Emotionally, physcially & Mentally.
Not a break I want. I just want to fly.
Some times I just wonder how tomorrow would be like. Surprises, Bad things etc.
Good night world.
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